Cue Rebounds
by t3h maniac
Summary: Tseng and Elena break up and now every Turk and their PA wants to be the rebound, multichap, will contain OCs later, rated for language and lemon. Complete with giant spider and outtakes
1. The Break up

-1**Cue Rebounds**

Summary: A Turk centred fiction where Tseng and Elena break up, cue every Turk and his/her secretary to try and score the rebound

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 7... You all know how this goes by now right?

A/N: The fist chapter is slightly depressing but the tone should pick up by later chapters

**Chapter 1. The Break Up.**

"Elena. My office. Now"

Voice mails from Tseng were always like this. Short, to the point and aggravating. This was probably another opportunity for him to get her beneath the desk for the next half hour.

It wasn't as if Elena regretted sleeping with Tseng just the contrast between the Tseng, her boss and Tseng, her lover was occasionally a bit too much to bear. Reno had tried to tease her when she was in one of those moods and Elena tried to give him an impromptus vasectomy, with bricks.

Rude? Well he was a good friend to her. He didn't talk much but he was a good listener and he always knew when it was best for him to stay the hell out of her way.

But Tseng was the man she was in love with, until today however.

"Yes sir?"

"Your paperwork Elena…"

"Sir?" she had done all her paperwork, and done it well so what was his problem?

"Its ruined"

"…"

"I would have expected something like this from Reno!" he said waving the folder around "Not you Elena."

"But I…"

"You'll have to do it again"

"But…"

"No buts Elena, this level of work is unacceptable."

"…Sir…can I ask you something?"

"What is it Elena?"

"How can you go from being such a kind soul to a complete bastard in five minutes?"

"WHAT?"

"And one more thing, don't EVER compare my standard of work with Reno's" and with that she stormed out of the office in a huff

Reno was in the common room when she walked past

"Hey 'Laney!" She said nothing, but instead fired a few shots into the chair Reno was sitting in causing him to flee and cower behind the table. "Shit. Maybe I shouldn't have switched the names on the paperwork"

---

Tseng was left gob smacked in his office. When had Elena ever said something like that to anyone except Reno? Well maybe some of the rookies who had hit on him but usually she shot them in the foot.

He looked back at her paperwork, it was abysmal. Something that wouldn't have been acosiated with her if it wasn't her name on the front…on a white backing…despite it was a green folder.

"Reno…" he growled under his breath. That damn Turk had made him make a huge mistake which he would have to put right. If Elena would forgive him.

He tried to call her but she didn't answer. He would have to go and apologize himself.

Or castrate Reno.

'Castrating Reno sounds good.'

'No! must apologize to Elena'

'First apologize to her then castrate the red-head.'

---

"Elena I'm…"

"Save it."

"Elena?"

"I don't want to have a relationship with you"

"look, if this is about what happened in my office…"

"Its not just that Tseng."

"Then what is it?"

"It's the way you act when we're at work."

"Elena, I don't know what you mean?"

"Back at the apartment you're all sweet and such, but here you're completely different. Its like we don't even exist as a couple in public."

"Elena…"

"Its over _Sir_." And she walked out again leaving him feel dejected. 'how long had she thought like this? Was it the final straw in my office? How can I get her back?'

Tseng eventually collapsed down into his chair, the brat Rufus wanted another thing done. It would be another day in the office but one without Elena to come home to.

---

A/N: What do you think? If I get permission from Amazon Turk and dantesdarkqueen I may include some of their OCs for this.


	2. So Close

**Cue Rebounds**

**Chapter2, So close**

**A/N: Ahh, now that the break up is done we can now focus on the major part, the rebounds! Rebounds could be considered the root of all evil in FF7 because it seems Hojo scored on the rebound and we all know what happened next right?**

**Anyway, Reno. You're up first!**

**Reno: Yay!**

**Disclaimer: The story, mine. The characters, locations and props, not mine. They belong to SE except for a few OC's who belong to individual users. I.e. Akalara is dantesdarkqueen's. Kandi, Katrina, Joel and Ram are Amazon Turk's.**

---

Elena was thinking hard. Maybe she was slightly harsh on Tseng, maybe she didn't have to break off the relationship just like that but he was the one being a fucking bastard. It should have been clear to him that it was Reno's work to begin with, he may be a master of forgery but his quality of work often gives him away.

Speaking of whom.

"Hey 'Laney."

"Fuck off Reno." She was really not in the mood to spend any time with him

"Harsh 'Laney. That really hurt!"

"Complain to someone who gives a damn."

"Elena, what's wrong?" This took her by surprise, was Reno actually showing concern to someone who was not going to have sex with him?

"…no, nothing Reno…"

"Come on babe, there must be something wrong."

'Don't tell him anything Elena, its his fault! Shoot him!' Elena screamed in her head, she wanted to blame Reno for what happened between her and Tseng but it could have happened at any time. He just sped up the inevitable.

"webrokeup" she quickly mumbled

"What was that?" Reno asked her

" ME AND TSENG BROKE UP! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!" she shouted out before realising that the room they were in was full. Kandi had dropped her chocolate bar and was just staring at her with her mouth wide open. Everyone else was trying to quickly make it look like they heard nothing.

Elena stormed out of the room quickly followed by Reno. "Elena, wait yo!"

"What is it Reno?" She snapped at the red head.

"Listen I've seen loads of people who go through break ups and your probably going to start thinking that all relationships end in broken hearts so I suggest…"

"Yes Reno?"

"We skip that step and head straight for the sex!"

'Knew it' Elena thought.

She gave a small smile, one eyelid flickers

She drew a pistol from her knickers.

She fired one shot with exceptional aim

Which caused Reno to scream out in pain.

"Swing and a miss Reno" she said before walking out of the building.

---20 minutes later

Rude found Reno hobbling on one leg down the corridors "…"

"don't just stand there yo! I got a bullet in my knee!"

"…"

---back to after the shot

"Fuck! did you hear that Green Bitch?" Katrina asked

"I have ears don't I?" Akalara replied

"So Tsengs on the market huh?" asked Ram

"Yeah, I'm going for it!" Kandi piped up

"Are you bat-shit insane? Elena will probably kill you if you get the rebound!" Katrina pointed out

"Please, all she needs is a good fuck and she'll be back to normal in no time."

"yeah but if he gets the rebound first…"

"'Laney needs something to calm her down if we are ever going to get a shot at Tseng without being shot."

"Girls night out?" Akalara suggested

"Is this the notorious green bitch being sociable?" Ram teased

"Please, from the sounds of things Reno's not going to be good for fucking for a while. I need some new material."

"Yeah I think we all do…"

"So its decided?"

"Yeah, but I'm not the fucking designated driver!"

---

A/N: So what do you think, have I done good?


	3. Does this count?

**Cue Rebounds**

**Chapter3- does this count?**

**Disclaimer:**** See previous chapter (I'm being lazy today)**

**A/N: Well last chapter was fun to make so now for the next instalment.**

**Reno: My leg…**

**A/N: Quiet you**

** Warning. Contains hinted Yuri. Review please**

---

Elena was still in a foul mood, usually using Reno as a target was an effective method of stress relief and she always managed to smile while doing it. However today as soon as she couldn't not hear Reno in pain the frown returned

"Hey, 'Laney!" Katrina called out to her, the other amazons were following her, they were definitely up to something.

"What's up Kat?" she replied forcing a smile on her face.

"Now I know your upset 'Laney"

"But don't worry"

"Coz, We're taking you on a girls night out!"

The 3 Amazons then proceeded to drag Elena out of the building towards a waiting Akalara standing by a limousine.

"Where did you get that?" She asked

"The previous owner had a little 'run in' with Rude" Ram replied "So we took the keys and the car"

"How long have you had it?"

"3 days, and no-ones noticed"

"Sweet"

"Lets get going, Yuffie's meeting us at the 7th heaven" Kandi urged

"The Turk bar crawl?"

"All 10 bars of it" Akalara responded

---

The Turk bar crawl was not the norm for a night out. It involved going round the ten bars that were deemed the best by the Turks, often because of the high proof content or the attractiveness of the bartender. For this reason the 7th Heaven was always the first port of call. Not going to the next bar until they got chucked out of the first

"Hey Tifa!" Kandi shouted as the Turks entered the bar "Seen the ninja?"

"Hello amazons." She said while smirking "Yuffie's coming down to play soon"

"No need to patronize us Teef" Ram said, faking being hurt "Were here for the crawl!"

"Whose the designated driver?" She asked

"Akalara is!"

"The Fuck I'm not!"

"Well I'm not gonna be it!"

"You dragged _me_ out!"

Tifa sighed, this was always the way. The Turks would argue about it until they had 5 shots of vodka or someone fired a gun clearing out the rest of the drunkards out. Any other bartender would chuck them out then but the Turks drank a lot more than 50 regular drunks.

"Hey girls!" Yuffie shouted from the top of the stairs

"Yuffie!"

Yuffie was the member of avalanche who had got on the best with the Turks, she had been put through the same trauma as Elena at the hands of don Corneo (now deceased) and was always up for a night out.

"What's up?"

"Tseng and Elena broke up"

"aaw poor Elena" Yuffie cooed

"I am right here you know." Elena pointed out, slightly indignant

"What you need is a booty call 'Laney." The ninja suggested

"A booty call?" Elena had never heard the term before, Kandi had on the other hand.

"You know, pick one of the trainees to have a one night stand with. They'll do whatever you tell them to do"

"It sounds appealing but no."

"Why not Blondie?"

"I want my rebound to be better then anything he could ever do. Not just a sub-standard fuck from a nervous rookie."

"see we're narrowing it down to who we can get to fuck you as stress relief"

"Vincent?" Akalara suggested

"Mine" Yuffie quickly stated.

"Please, you fuck with Reno every other day, I don't think Vincent is going to have trouble having sex with someone else"

"What do you think I'm doing in my free time?"

"Shit Yuffie. I didn't think he had that kind of endurance. That's more than Sephiroth could do to me" Akalara seemed very impressed with Yuffie's sex life

"Cloud?" Ram suggested

"Please, miss boobs would smother me before I even got near him"

"Maybe you could talk them into a threesome?"

"No chance"

"Okay then…Joel?"

"No."

"But you said you liked what he did with his tongue"

"Yeah but I already told Tseng in position number 6 that he was much better than him"

"Rude."

"you know what Kat? I don't think I've ever slept with him."

"Well maybe its time to go for the big guy, Teef! More drinks please!"

"Not for you Yuffie, your driving."

"aaw" Yuffie complained

"You know, what girls" Tifa came up to then wearing her white tank top with the short leather skirt "Maybe I should join in on this"

The Turks were taken completely by surprise. Tifa was hardly ever out of the bar at night.

"You sure Teef?" Yuffie asked tentatively

"Hey, your not the only girls who want to have some fun you know"

"Then join in boobs!" Was the cheerful response from the amazons

"I'm not driving."

"Fuck!"

---

The next few hours seemed to have passed so quickly. Elena woke up in a strange bed.

'Not the first time' she thought to herself. The blonde looked around at her surroundings, they looked as though they were in Ram's apartment, then she turned her head slightly to the left. 'Oh fuck don't let this be what it looks like!'

There, sleeping next to her was Tifa, completely naked, in her arms. 'Shit. They are real!' Elena thought after looking down at her newly acquired bed-mate.

She heard a yawn, to her it was like someone driving a chisel into her head, she turned to tell the person to shut up when she found it was Akalara. "Shit."

"El….Elena?" The green haired women asked. Where are we, why am I naked? Ah! Fucking hangover"

"Don't talk so loud bitch" was the groggy response from Katrina, emerging the other end of the covers. Then her eyes went wide. "did…did we just have an orgy?" she asked, fearing the response.

Sure enough, still asleep on the floor were Kandi, Ram and Yuffie.

"Does this count as a booty call?" Elena asked

---

A/N: mwa ha ha. People do weird things when drunk don't they


	4. Dwell upon Awakening

**Cue Rebounds 4**

**Dwell upon awakening**

**Disclaimer: ****Not my characters or locations, my plot though.**

**A/N: Fucking 360s, I hate them all. To quell my need for destruction of the tool that did in my back I will continue this story as thanks to its M rating, I can say 'fuck' as many times as I please.**

**Its good for stress relief.**

**Yeah…**

**Hey If your enjoying this so far, why not make a review or put this on your favourites list. I have 3 people on the story alert list although two of them are there because I'm using their Original Characters and don't want me to screw it up, ruining their reputation.**

**I know they like the story because DantesDarkQueen has been asking for more every review, Amazon Turk is enjoying the story too I hope but she didn't write a review for the last chapter**

**Damn I have a lot of BS pent up today.**

**Right…**

**I Should just get on with this. Not true lemon yet, maybe lemon scented.**

'Okay Elena you have successfully got shit-faced and now are in a bedroom surrounded by naked colleagues and former enemies turned friends. Fuck. If Reno finds out about this ….

'Wait, maybe we didn't get to that stage because we were too drunk' Elena looked at the spot in the bed she had previously occupied. It was wet. 'Shit, shit shit!'

"Keep it down 'Laney" Yuffie said groggily while trying to stay on her feet "Some of us have a hangover"

" I dunno what the big deal is Elena" Akalara managed to say. "Its not like we got screwed and then got AIDS."

"If Reno… _ever_ finds out about this…"

"We don't tell him, simple. We can keep quiet about who we fucked last night" Ram started "we just umm…"

"We just choose not to because either we want the guy dead or he was awesome." Kandi completed

"Right. Or it's a name and shame situation" Katrina said. "Like this one time, I met this guy and he looked strong and all but you know what they say about people who take steroids"

"mmm" Tifa stirred. She had been asleep for the longest, and as though it were Cloud she was sleeping next to, rolled over, grabbed Ram (who was the closet to her) and drew her in for a hug.

"What do we do about her, if she wakes up she's going to fucking kill all of us with her screaming."

"Or beat us to a pulp for getting her drunk and taking advantage of her" Yuffie stated.

"Wait, how do we know it was us who took advantage of her?" Kandi asked.

"She seems like she'd be the one on top to me" Katrina said, agreeing with what Kandi had implied.

"She'll still beat us to a pulp. And I do not want to live through that version of hell again, or die from it." Elena said with fear in her voice, her mind recalling when the two had last faced off, she barely got away with internal bleeding and numerous bruises on her face.

"It can't be that bad, we're Turks and Yuffie's a ninja." Ram said dismissively

"Do you want to know how many bones Reno had broken in sector seven, or how many of those were not from gun shot wounds or sword cuts?"

"I still think you're all overestimating her."

"you're the one still in her arms and too scared to let go Ram!" Akalara pointed out

"I am not scared! Look!" She tried to break free of Tifa's hug but the still sleeping bartender just tightened her grip and started to snuggle her breasts dragging her tongue over one of the nipples.

"Is Tifa a subconscious lesbian?" Yuffie asked

"Fuck off bitch! I am not bi!" Ram shrieked trying to free herself from Tifa's Iron grip.

The bartender was trying to wake up, the after affects of the drink had caused her to forget what happened last night but the wet patch she was in gave a reminder that it was something good, then she realised something. What was she going to tell Cloud? She slowly opened her eyes to find a naked women in her arms struggling to get free.

One of the Turks.

What had happened last night?

The struggling Turk was released as her eyes went wide. Ignoring the splitting headache from the hangover she bolted upwards to see that she was surrounded by the Turks and she went drinking with last night. Her blood boiled, her hands curled into fists and she quickly looked around at her new targets. Whatever happened they were going to pay.

Ram got up gasping for breath "Shit Teef, what the hell is wrong with you" she was instantly felled by a quick kick to the temple, the martial artist got out of the bed stepped on top Ram and got ready to fight.

All Turks have to go through strict martial arts training and there were four of them and a ninja compared to one Tifa. They never stood a chance.

Kandi charged first to try and help her fallen friend, but she was met with a stiff punch to the stomach before an elbow to the back of the neck.

Katrina was next, being lifted into the air effortlessly and then thrown into the rest of the Amazons who now lied in a head on the floor of the apartment.

While Tifa was busy disposing of the last Amazon she decided that she was either going to suffer her wrath as well or try a sneak attack while Katrina was in the air. She got close enough to the bartender for her to turn around and launch a two footed moonsault kick, sending the self proclaimed green goddess into the wall.

Elena and Yuffie had both fought Tifa before and knew what was next, they saw the other Turks be defeated one by one, both looked at each other and tried to flee out of the bedroom but to no avail. The enraged martial artist had grabbed them both by the leg and was pulling them back towards her.

---

Rude was wondering where everybody was, the Turk levels were deserted apart from him, Joel and Tseng.

"Shit man, come take a look at this" Joel shouted out to Rude

"What is it?" He asked,

"Well a few weeks ago I put cameras in all of the girls apartments, and well… take a look at what's going down at Ram's place."

He looked at the computer screen, on it Tifa was fighting against the Amazons, Akalara and Yuffie. Naked.

"holy fuck!" he said. It was one of the hottest catfights he'd seen, even if it was one sided with Tifa just dominating the rest

"I know man, isn't it awesome!?"

---

**A/N: And so concludes the bedroom scene. No smut as of yet but hey. It seems like only a matter of time**

**Reno: Do I get to see this footage man?**

**Cloud: Or me?**

**Tseng: Or me?**

**Yuffie: Or me? (everyone turns to look at Yuffie) What?**


	5. When life gives you lemons

**Cue Rebounds 5**

**When life gives you lemons…**

A/N: Okay, I've finally decided to add the smut into this. Ands its CloTi so, if you no like. Too bad because if your reading this you've already added to my hit count, hah!

Right, this is probably going to be a series of lemon flavoured chapters (depends on the feedback) and if requested, I may convince Joel to release the footage of what transpired in chapter 3 in the future

Disclaimer: Not mine, Square-enix's

---

Cloud was really worried about Tifa, she went off with them so quickly and if anything happens to her, he didn't attempt to stop them. No, she was strong enough and she was with friends if that's what you can call Yuffie and the Turks now. He knew that they were on his side now but it didn't stop him from secretly despising them for taking out anything that could rise to threaten Shinra, history just seems to keep repeating itself.

It was gone 10 o' clock in the morning when Tifa returned home from her night out, Cloud had tried to stay awake the whole time but had ended up falling asleep on the couch and was woken up by the door slamming.

"Tifa?"

"Cloud." She said with a stern voice. She was in a very bad mood and he was skating on thin ice, he had to be carafe about what he said next. Fortunately for him, she spoke next.

"Where are the kids?"

"gone with Barrett." He laid back down, hoping, no, _praying_ that it was the right response.

"Are you lying to me Cloud Strife?" She asked again, looking down on him with an angry expression. 'Shit she's going to kill me' Cloud thought, the fear clearly visible in his eyes.

"…no…no, why would I?"

"Good."

She gave an evil grin, as she pulled up Cloud from his seat, and whispered seductively in his ears

"Because I don't think they're ready to find out about the things I'm going to do to you."

Clouds expression changed almost instantly, to that of a sly grin not unlike what Tifa had shown him. "Bedroom?"

"No, I think here will suffice Cloud." she said sweetly pushing him on to the coffee table and making short work of his trousers throwing them to the other side of the room.

"Fuck Tifa, you're usually not this intense!"

"You don't want this?"

"I do, but…"

"No buts Cloud, we're gonna do things my way." she said straddling his legs and removing his shirt.

"As you wish mistress."

Tifa then started to strip taking off her top and spinning it in her hand like Cloud would do to his sword making Cloud twitch with anticipation.

After discarding her shirt she bent down so cloud could remove her bra and release her breasts from their prison, he then reached out to grab the mounds of flesh, squeezing, massaging, supporting the mounds of flesh causing breathless moans to be emitted from his lovers mouth. She slowly crept her hand down his chest, occasionally tickling certain points causing him to squirm underneath her. Finally she slowly grabbed his boxer shorts and in one, swooping movement ripped them off, her free hand grabbed his already stiff length and started to fist it furiously.

"Fuck…!" He groaned, two could play at that game.

He reached, down her body and towards her mini skirt, he found there was less resistance than normal to the invading hand. She was going commando, and was already damp.

"Tifa?" he asked.

"Yes Cloud?" noticing his change in tone she stopped in her tracks.

"Who did you wake up next to this morning?"

Fuck, he knew something had happened.

"Was it someone you knew?" she nodded meekly "Someone I knew?" a single nod this time.

"Who?" It was more of a command than a question

"…"

"Tell me Tifa!"

"Yuffie and the Turks" She said in her lowest possible voice. Cloud did a double take.

"Who?"

"Early this morning I woke up next to one of the Turks I went drinking with last night and Yuffie." Clouds jaw hit the floor

"…"

"Cloud?"

"…That, is, fucking awesome!"

"What?!"

"can you please tell me the details?"

"I don't remember."

"Aww"

"all I remember is waking up with Ram in my arms, dropping her then fighting all of them for taking advantage of a drunken me"

"There was a catfight as well?! Why didn't I go with?"

"Cloud!" Tifa shouted as she punched him in the stomach.

"Ouch, sorry babe."

"You're gonna pay for that little comment mister Strife."

"God I hope I do." he said as he pulled down the mini skirt, Tifa getting up slightly to shake it off her legs before placing her entrance above Cloud, teasing him and even grabbing his hand to finger her clit for her, all before he pulled her down on top of him.

Her mouth was assaulted by his own, the tongues intertwining in the passion. She tweaked his nipples while he caressed hers before Tifa started moving slowly, on and off.

Cloud thrust upwards in synchronisation with her movements, every thrust making her gasp in pleasure, she was close. He could sense it.

Tifa decided to speed up her movements riding his length for all its worth. "Fuck!"

With one last thrust she screeched out his name, her body quivering from the sensation that pulsated through her, with Cloud letting loose an animalistic roar he came as well, leaving them both exhausted.

"Tifa?"

"Yes Cloud?"

"You are fucking incredible"

She smiled sweetly "you too Cloud"

"So can we do it again?"

"hmm"

"Pleeeease?"

"No."

"Meany"

"I love you too Cloud"

"I know you do babe"

---

A/N: Okay so that was my first attempt at smut so be truthful in your reviews but not too truthful as I am feeling a bit self-conscious


	6. Humiliation and retribution

**Cue Rebounds 6**

**Humiliation and retribution**

**A/N: I was going to do Yuffentine smut for this chapter but I've decided against it for now, I have something much more evil in store for the ladies now (insert evil laugh).**

**Seriously I had something pretty vicious in store for Vincent but he has escaped it for now, Sephiroth on the other hand was not quite so lucky (see "A Twist to the Tale", warning, that is very disturbing.)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the FF7 characters, locations, or the OC placements. I do own the plot however**

---

Reno could not believe his eyes when he logged on to the Turk message board in the morning. Joel had posted footage of what was the hottest lesbian orgy he'd seen, and what was weird was he knew everyone who was in it and had slept with all but two of them.

"Shit look at Yuffie and Elena go at it."

He had never seen material like this before, it put the majority of his porn collection to shame. 'Gotta buy Joel a round of drinks, this is awesome!"

The drunken girls on the computer screen were currently paired up except for Ram who had joined in to form a threesome with Tifa and Akalara, moans were heard. The occasional squeal and then when he turned his attention to Kandi and Katrina, the two had fingered each other to an orgasm.

"Holy…fuck"

It was then that his green haired lover had walked in to his office

"Hey Reno" she said in a seductive tone

"hey…babe" Reno managed while trying to both turn around to see her and look at the on screen lovemaking at the same time.

"Just me being here making you hard Reno?"

"No…" he gasped, he wasn't going to be able to hold back much longer, it was too uncomfortable.

"Then what is? She asked turning her attention to the screen. "Oh."

For the first time Reno actually got a good look at the state she was in, her hair was in a mess, her lips were bleeding slightly and had bruises all over her body that she'd tried her best to cover up.

"Baby? What the hell happened to you?"

"Shut up Reno." She said sternly, she was looking into his eyes directly with the intention of making what had happened to her look like a mere scratch in comparison to what she was going to do to him. "Who…posted…_this_?"

He was in a tight spot, fellow Turks never ratted each other out, they'd get shot. However in the circumstances it was likely Akalara would shoot him if he didn't.

"Joel."

"Anything else?" she placed her hand around his throat

"No…" he choked.

"Good." Akalara let go, turned and exited the office

"Fucking Green bitch." He couldn't understand two things, one; why the hell was she so mad at him, its not like the first time she'd had sex while being taped and she knew that lesbian orgies were one of Reno's massive turn-ons. Secondly, why the hell did she look like she had gone through a street fight and lost? They weren't in that condition on-screen.

He checked that no-one else was looking and continued to watch, only to find that Joel had only posted a small portion of what was going on. 'Bastard, how could he keep all _that _to himself?

"Wait a minute, there's another video?"

Reno clicked on the link without thinking and ended up seeing Tifa, completely naked, kicking all of the Female Turks and Yuffie's asses.

"Fuck!"

A quick glance at the video timer said that there was 45 minutes of video, and the description said it was the full catfight. He was going to be very busy today.

---

Joel was relaxing back into his chair, the videos he posted had already had views from all the male members of staff, even some of the IT department hacked in to the message board for a look-see. But although he posted the entire catfight, he kept the fulll copy of the orgy on a one gig flash drive, for sale.

He laughed, this was brilliant. Until of course he had 5 guns pointed at his head, all from very angry and bruised Turks.

"Joel." Elena spat out, getting a small amount of blood in his eye.

"Hey ladies" he said nervously, "listen, if its about the orgy footage it wasn't my idea to post it" backing away from the guns pointed at his head, some changed their target to his other head causing him to flinch nervously.

"You stuck a camera in my room." Ram stated continuing her advance on the only male in the room. "how many times did you watch it."

"Hey I only posted some of the footage!"

"Not good enough!" Kandi was about to pull trigger when Tseng walked in.

"The hell is going on here?!" He shouted

"Bossman! Just in time." Joel began to relax slightly

"If you are going to post perverse footage on the forums, post the whole video and not just a portion. Ladies." And with that he left, the colour draining from Elena's face 'He'd seen it? FUCK!'

"Shit…okay, ladies, I'll cut a deal. Give me time to remove the footage and I'll give you the master copy, k?"

The female Turks all holstered their weapons apart from Elena.

"Oh no Joel, the damage has been done and I haven't shot anything today."

"Shit!"

---

Reno was slightly depressed, his precious footage had just been deleted from the forums right as he was watching it. It didn't matter as he had already copied the footage on to his own personal flash drive.

"Sweet, movie night is gonna rock!"

---

**A/N: so what did you think, a break in the smut which may or may not return by next update, hope you liked reading it, review for requests and comments.**


	7. Material testing

**Cue Rebounds 7**

**Material testisg**

**A/N: That lesbian orgy plot point is probably going to stay around for a while, I could have done a whole fanfic based on that, but alas we must move on, and find Elena someone to fuck for the story to progress. First up is Rude!**

…

**Okay he's not currently talking to me for having the footage wiped off the message boards, oh well.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing with the exception of the plot.**

**---**

Okay, today was not a good day for Elena.

She had woken up in the company of 6 other naked women, been beaten to a pulp while some of the male Turks watched. She needed to get laid, badly.

Taking the advice from her girlfriends '_stop using that term or Reno will think you're a full blown lesbian instead of just bi!_' she decided to hunt down Rude. If what Kandi was saying about him were true, he'd be perfect to remove all memory of a relationship of that stuck up bastard with the hair that just flows so gracefully and his deep and beautiful eyes _'Stop it Elena! Snap out of it, we don't need that Wutain fucktard to make us happy!'_ She stopped, seemingly in a trance. Did she just refer to herself as a plural? Whatever.

She continued through the maze of offices until she found Rude's. Kandi was already in there doing a table dance for him. She spotted Elena outside and stopped the dancing, put her suit back on and left whispering in Elena's ear "I got him nice and hard for you, just don't be too rough, I want him to have some energy when he comes 'round to screw me into the ground." Elena giggled in response and whispered back

"No promises. Just make sure the camera's are out"

"Done and done, but I want details."

"Okay Kandi, you got it."

The red streaked rookie left the area fairly quickly leaving Elena alone with Rude.

"…" Rude being himself, was as silent as ever, however that was about to change

"Hey Rude" She said in a playful tone sitting on the Bald man's lap

"…Elena" He responded in monotone.

"You know Rude, I saw what was going on just a few moments ago"

"…" A sweat drop appeared on his forehead

"You must have got so worked up for that" More sweat drops.

"Do you need release big man?" She asked in her most seductive tone.

That was the last straw, he immediately stood up, pushing her off his lap and yet still keeping her close, he looked down to see the lust clearly in her eyes.

"Oh yeah, you want me Rude." She whispered, leaning in to assault his lips with her own, only to be blocked by him

"We should go somewhere… more private." Elena giggled at Rude's response and shoved him back down into his chair.

"Nah, here's fine" she said reaching for his belt. Before the end of the day, both veteran Turks would be very satisfied.

She made quick work of removing his pants and then teasing the buldge in his boxers "Aww, is Rude being impatient?" she asked rhetorically before quickly ripping off the undergarment and placing her lips so they covered the head of his member.

She began to lick his shaft slowly paying extra attention to the head causing low moans from her new sex-buddy.

"…Elena, I'm gonna…" and with that she quickly withdrew and smirked upwards

"Not gonna let you gat off that easily" she whispered in her ear.

The blonde stood up quickly and threw off her jacket after twirling it around on her finger, her shirt was next for the pile amassing on Rude's desk.

"Your turn"

Rude did not need telling twice, he quickly shed the remainder of his clothing and even removing his sunglasses, previously he would never remove his sunglasses in front of Elena, not out of anything hostile but to maintain the image of bad-assness that he wanted to have, despite having a schoolboy crush, still.

Elena also discarded what remains of her clothes before bending over the desk, he ass almost rubbing into Rude's face. "What are you waiting for big man?" she asked.

The Turk didn't get a verbal respond to that question, but she felt the answer as Rude thrust into her causing her to scream out in ecstasy. He grunted with each thrust, delving deeper and deeper into her. She could feel what was building up, she moaned with each movement, he quickened his pace until…

"FUUUUUCKKK!!!!!"

---

Kandi knew the two were having great fun in Rude's office, the moans could be heard on the other side of the world for god sake, well maybe she was exaggerating a bit but shit they were loud. Normally she would proceed to kick the living shit out of anyone who would have got between her and Rude's 'Special time' but Elena was different.

For one Elena knew more ways of killing someone than she did and secondly, since Elena has now officially scored a rebound fuck, there could be no consequences if the other half was to get the rebound score to a certain red-streaked Turk.

Tseng was now fair game, and best of all, for a while she was the only one who knew giving her a head start on the rest.

'_I'll give _him_ a head-start!'_ she thought to herself chuckling down the corridor and towards the head Turk's office, this one was going to be fun.

---

**Reviews are appreciated and wanted. Did that come out wrong or is it just the fact that my mind has melted?**

**(note: the A/N may contain BS.)**

**I was tempted to call this one "When life give you lemons part2" but it didn't fit the story, because with the amount of smut you seem to be expecting I'll be at lemons part 33545. But don't think you've seen the end of Elena smut just yet, I'm just getting started.**

**t3h Maniac of FFVII fanfics.**

**Yeah that thing above, that's my new signature, open to change though if you've got suggestions.**


	8. The Race Is On

**Cue Rebounds 8**

**The Race Is On**

**Disclaimer: see chapter 2 disclaimer. I'm not writing this shit out every fucking time! People who read this know who belongs to whom, I hope…**

**A/N: And now this story is my longest piece of fiction done and has the most chapters, yay!**

**---**

Kandi was in a very good mood despite seeing and hearing her boyfriend screwing another women into oblivion, if this worked it would all be worth it.

Tseng would be hers and hers alone with no repercussions from a certain blonde who was currently being screwed by her boyfriend.

Matchmakers get privileges after all.

Now how to get Tseng to have sex with her? There had to be an easy way of loosening the belt of the Wutain who seemed to constantly have a tick up his ass.

Then it clicked, The sexual harassment training.

Punishment for improper harassment techniques started from a verbal warning for one offence, a written warning for two, a spanking by the boss for three and for four botched moves…

Let's just say that she wouldn't be able to walk straight for at least a week if what she heard about his actions in the sack from Elena was true.

"Hey Vending Machine!" Fuck, she had been spotted

"Hey Green Bitch." She replied before being dragged into the break room by the Amazons.

All of which who looked a lot better after using about a metric tonne of cure materia to try and heal the damage done by one angry barmaid.

"What you up to?" Ram asked

"….Nothing, nothing at all."

"Come on, your hiding something Kandi. You had a smirk on your face after you left Rude's office and you haven't changed your clothes so we _know_ you didn't get fucked."

"Honestly, I'm fine!" She said, trying to keep a cool demeanour.

"Bull shit!" Katrina said

"Maybe she's thinking of becoming bi after what happened last night now that the bruises are healed." Akalara joked

"Fuck off!"

"Nah, we're kidding Kandi. Hey you got anymore of that green sludge shit? Niki needs to stop messing with my wardrobe and this time, she's not getting the antidote."

"Bit harsh Ak."

"She needs to learn..."

"And you're trying to get into Tseng's pants, I don't think you got room to complain about her fucking with Reno!"

"Speaking of which, how are we gonna get 'Laney out the picture?"

"um…"

"You got any ideas Kandi?"

"Well I was thinking…"

"Yeah" The 3 other Turks were listening intensely now.

"Maybe we should set her up with one of our 'partners'."

"WHAT? I had enough problem trying to keep the crazy one away from Reno!"

"You know Elena wouldn't touch Reno with a ten foot pole."

"True…" Akalara conceded

"Well…" Kandi started to back out of the room "I got paper work to do so see you lot later!" she said with a smile.

Then it happened. Elena screeched out Rude's name so loud that all four of them heard it.

Katrina, Ram and Akalara narrowed their eyes at Kandi who quickly turned around and ran for Tseng's office.

"GET BACK HERE!"

"HE'S MINE!"

"I CALLED HIM FIRST!"

The two Amazons got to their feet first and ran towards the door any to have their heads slammed together by Akalara.

Kandi managed to evade her pursuers for a few minutes before Katrina cut her off outside Reno's office takling her into the wall. Kandi responded by trying to break Katrina's leg as she tried to get away.

---

Meanwhile in Reno's office Joel and Reno were arguing about who had got the worst bullet wound from Elena.

"I'm telling you Reno, one more centimetre to the left and I would be dead!"

"Big deal, she never aims to kill one of us, just to intimidate. Besides, she almost castrated me!"

"But still I can't believe they made me take down that footage…"

"You got back up right?"

"Of course."

"Good thing too, lesbian orgies can happen all the time if you get them drunk enough but catfight footage is rare, black materia rare."

"Never gonna see another one like that in our lives..."

"Yeah..." Reno sighed before Kandi collided with the wall.

The two male Turks assessed the situation before diving to find the video camera.

"I got it!" Reno shouted.

---

Akalara had caught up to Katrina and Kandi and made it so she deliberately stepped on both of them as she ran, big mistake. The Amazons dragged her to the ground and pulled her back while they were trying to make their own advancement in the race-turned catfight.

Ram had managed to try and sneak past the 3 ladies grappling and was now the closest to Tseng's office before she tried to get a bit of showboating done.

"Hey Girls! I guess that Wutain pie is all mine!" she laughed.

The 3 rookies pounced on her like a lioness would a gazelle, tearing at her clothes, squashing her with their weight, all while Reno and Joel recorded it.

The door was 10 metres (or yards) away from their grasp. All four of them made one final charge and opened the door to his office with their shirts and jackets now in ruins.

They opened the door to find Tseng shirtless with bite marks all down his neck, and there was only one biter in the ranks apart from Akalara who was currently in the bottom of the pile.

"No…no way, it can't be!" Akalara softly spoke in horror.

There was no way the person with Tseng could have possibly known about Elena's rebound with Rude, and you had to be insane to try and score a rebound with the man before the girl in the break up got one.

It was confirmed when Niki poked her head out from under the desk.

"Hi!"

"NOOOOOOOO!" All 4 ladies in the doorway shouted.

"You get that Reno?" Joel asked

"Yep, the message board now has some new footage!"

---

**A/N: Swerved! Didn't see that one coming, if you did then GET OUT OF MY HEAD! AHHHH!**

**-t3h Maniac of FF7 fanfics**


	9. Reflections

**Cue Rebounds 9**

**Reflections**

Disclaimer: Reno, Rude, Tseng and Elena are Square Enix's. Kandi, Katrina and Ram are Amazon Turk's. Akalara is Dantesdarkqueen's. Niki-chan is SerenityChan13's

Plot is mine

A/N: Well that was a shocker last chapter, so how did the clinically insane Niki get the rebound? I dunno, I'm making this up as I go along.

---

"HOW THE FUCK!!!"

"Calm down Green Bitch" Ram said, nursing a headache from the fight earlier

"FIRST IT'S RENO AND NOW SHE'S WITH TSENG? WHEN DO _I_ GET ANY BREAKS?"

"Beer?" Kandi asked as she pulled one out of her pocket.

"How _do_ you do that?" Asked Ram.

"Thanks," Akalara said before downing it all in one go and resuming her rant "NOW HOW THE FUCK ARE WE GONNA GET ANY WUTAIN SPECIALS?"

"I seriously want to know how she ended up fucking the bossman, she bit him when she was first brought in." Kandi pondered.

"You could ask her now 'coz here she comes" Katrina stated, as Niki walked in, her hair in a mess and her shirt torn with a bit of blood on her lip. Akalara lunged at her and slammed her against the lockers.

"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET BOSSMAN TO FUCK YOU! ANSWER ME YOU LITTLE BITCH!" Akalara screamed while the Amazons tried to pull her off Niki

"seriously Niki how did you?" Ram asked "Is he any good?"

"Hey I was only practicing for Reno!" Niki shouted defensively

"You had a _practice_ fuck with Tseng?" Katrina asked

"Well it wasn't so much a practice fuck but more like I couldn't get the hang of the boobs to face trick" Niki answered truthfully

"Say what?" Kandi did a double take '_If she stole my idea_'

"I was practicing some of techniques we got told to do but I messed up…"

"Did you get spanked?" Ram asked, truly intrigued by this

"Yes."

"Did you like it?"

"No, I squealed and bit him on the hand, he was too rough and I wasn't expecting it."

'_Fuck, this girl _is_ insane, most of us would have died for that opportunity. In fact we were trying to kill each other for that!'_ Kandi thought to herself "And you tried it again?"

"Yeah, I thought I was going to get it right fourth time but I made the same mistakes and he ordered me to lay down on the floor and then…"

"He _raped _you?" Akalara asked, if he did her respect for him just plummeted.

"Not exactly… he just told me what he was going to do, I said yes. How could I refuse him?"

"Good question." Ram conceded.

"So you didn't plan on it?" Kandi asked.

"No."

"Did you know about him and Elena breaking up?"

"No… they broke up? Why didn't anyone tell me?!"

'_probably because Elena values her sanity, anyway if she didn't know its not a true rebound'_ Akalara thought before releasing the struggling Turk "…fine."

Niki ran out of the room, it sounded like she was crying.

"Wonder what got into her?"

"Well she is sensitive, maybe you were too harsh on her."

"Please, she'll be back to normal and trying to destroy my clothes before my next kill."

"Speaking of which when do we get a new lot of missions?"

"Hopefully soon, can't wait to take out all my frustrations on one guy!"

"Leave some for us Ak, you can't kill them all!"

"Sure I can."

"And what's that by your feet?" Ram asked before a small spherical devise shot a laser which hit Akalara's shirt. This caused a chain reaction causing all her clothes to disintergrate.

"NIKI!!!!!"

Round the corner from the locker room Niki was laughing her ass off, that miniature laser she dropped had done its work perfectly

"Well at least it got the chocolate pudding out for good!" she thought out loud.

---

Elena was long gone from Rude's office when Reno walked in. "Hey Rude, I got this sweet footage, wanna see?" he asked. When no response came he waved his hand in front of his sunglasses which were slightly askew "Rude? Gaia to Rude! This is your 2 p.m. wake up call!"

"Hey Reno…" He finally responded

"He's alive!" Reno shouted before laughing and sitting down on the desk, "Seriously, I got yet more catfight footage from the Amazons and Ak. They seem to be going at it on a daily basis now, wonder what got into them?"

"Reno…"

"And why is this desk all sticky? Its worse then when I spilt the cherry energy fizz over my paper work."

"Reno…"

Reno paused for a while, he turned to face Rude and his jaw hit the floor "Shit man!" he said standing up "Why didn't you tell me you were busy fucking someone earlier?"

"…"

"For fuck's sake man! Who was it?"

"…"

"Is this the whole 'A friend wouldn't ask and a gentleman wouldn't tell thing' again?"

"…"

"It is!"

"Go away Reno."

"Was it Kandi?"

"…"

"Was it Ram?"

"…"

"Was it Revan?"

"RENO!"

"Just joking man, was it Elena?"

"…yes."

"Holy shit dude! What's she like, any good?"

"Mind blowing"

"Man I gotta get me some of that."

"She wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole. Its why she and Nilito get on so well"

"Harsh"

"She wouldn't"

"She might if I can seduce her" Rude rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses.

"About this footage?"

"Oh yeah, me and Joel just recorded it! Movie night is gonna rock tomorrow night!"

"…"

"I also saw Niki fucking the boss"

"…Did I just hear that right?" Rude asked taking a stuned look at his partner.

---

A/N: Well that's another chapter done, although my hit count seems to be dwindling per chapter compared with my other fics. Maybe its because I'm not recognised enough or something…

Reno: Its because you won't let me have my smut, you let Tifa and Rude!

Me: Damn contagious Muses! They're spying on me for Amazon…


	10. interlude filler

-1**Cue rebounds intermission**

**Okay, I think I may have goofed slightly with the last chapter, I deleted the authors notes chapter but that caused all the others to move back preventing people from reviewing the latest actual chapter.**

**However by inserting this into the correct spot This problem should be resolved.**

**To make this process easier I have added some jokes.**

…

**Okay, so I have writers block for even the filler. Doesn't make me any less of an author.**

**Wait I've got something now. Here is a quick Reno/Yuffie intermission**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**---**

Hunted.

He is stalked down the corridor, he checks behind him to see if there are any predators.

There is always one he can never see until too late.

That isn't to say he can't sense her presence.

Reno quickly darts into his bedroom, and with a sigh of relief shuts the door behind him.

Only to fall into a trap

"BANZAI!" She screams, dropping down from the ceiling, and landing diretly on her pray, tea bagging him. The next thing he sees is a pair of chocobo print panties.

"Too slow Turkey!" Yuffie says triumphantly, getting off her victim and leaving the room.


	11. Friendly discussion

**Cue Rebounds 10**

**Friendly discussion**

**A/N: Hooray for filler. The solution to writers block and this is my first beta-read chapter so I hope it goes well. This actually **_**is**_** the beta-read version.**

**Disclaimer: All characters seen belong to Square-Enix. Except for Original Characters which are owned by their respective authors **

**A/N: Sorry ladies, the new Turks are not here in this chapter, they only get mentioned but they are in the story "One Drunken Night". I like to advertise my own stuff.**

**---**

Tseng could not believe he was about to do this. Of all the people Rufus could have picked, he picked Tseng. Why not Vincent? This would be a lot easier for him to do. Instead, it's him. He is the one who has to issue a verbal warning to the person who took out numerous Turks and one W.R.O operative in one morning.

He had been chosen to tell off Tifa Lockheart. Fuck.

The day before with Niki had helped to take some of the stress away, and she was very good, if a little too rough and wild for his tastes. He could see why Reno went to her (or the other way around) regularly.

_Focus, man! You are here to warn a former terrorist and alleged sadist about not messing with the Turks and leave before your limbs are scattered to the four corners of the world!_ he shouted in his own mind. He had never faced anything quite so challenging in all his years in the Turks.

Normally, punishment for assaulting a Turk is a quick addition to the List. However, in her case he was willing to make an exception, if only for his own safety. Tseng was by no means a coward, but rather a skilled tactician and knew when diplomacy was the best policy

It wouldn't be the first time she had wiped the floor with senior Turks; the first encounter she had had was against Reno and everyone knew how that had ended up. The footage of that last kick to the face was now the standard senior Turk screensaver.

It wasn't just Tifa. If Cloud was not out on deliveries and saw him make something that could resemble a threat, he'd be on a hook in a freezer.

Stupid freezer. Who has those apart from mobsters and butchers anymore?

_I do. Fuck_.

Then there was the whole break-up-with-Elena thing. She had apparently slept with Rude while he was administering 'discipline' to Niki, so there was practically no chance of her ever taking him back. No matter how many times he said it, they'd both fucked others. End of discussion.

_Back to Tifa. Focus on delivery. How are you going to say it? And for the love of Leviathan DO NOT say that you have footage of the orgy! Okay Tseng, you are at the door. Slowly enter and ask for a private chat or friendly discussion. Friendly discussion, hmm? That might work._

He opened it slowly, finding the bar empty apart from her. She was cleaning a glass and gave him a welcoming smile.

"Tseng! Didn't expect to see you here. What can I get for you?" 

"Water please," he said, trying to maintain his poker face. So far he was succeeding.

"So why has the head of the Turks decided to pay me a visit all of sudden? I thought it was Aeris you liked in AVALANCHE." 

_Damn,_ Tseng thought. _She must be on to me, trying to make me loose my cool, throwing her name out like I was just an old friend._ "Unfortunately, this is not, strictly speaking, a social visit." 

"No?" she asked "Cloud! I think Tseng's here to try and recruit you again!" 

_Fucking hell, why did he have to be here on this day of days?_

"Tell him I'm not interested! If he doesn't leave, break a bone or something, Teef!" Cloud shouted from up the stairs.

"He has a hangover right now," Tifa explained to the nervous Wutain, who was seriously contemplating whether or not she would break one of his bones on Cloud's instruction alone. "I think it would be best to just leave and come back later if you want to talk to him." 

"Ah..." Tseng stated. "Actually, I was here to see you." Noticing Denzel and Marlene by the banister, he continued "Is there by chance a more private place to talk?"

"Sure. Marlene? Could you and Denzel watch the bar for a few minutes while I talk to this man?" 

"'Kay, Teef," the young girl responded before Tseng was lead into a small office.

"What was it you wanted to talk to me about? Nothing urgent or planet-threatening, I hope?" she asked, trying to break down the Wutain's poker face.

"No. With the W.R.O in place, most of that stuff is run through Reeve. So unless it's our fault, we try to stay out of any incoming disaster. The Turks are not designed to be used as such," he said truthfully.

Rufus had tried to buy out the W.R.O and incorporate it into Shinra, but at the last minute found his funds depleted so he could not fulfill his offer. Yuffie was the instant suspect (damn kleptomaniac), but Kandi wasn't able to find out who had used Rufus' credit cards.

After the accusation on Yuffie (who is head of W.R.O espionage) was made and never showed results, the W.R.O clamped down hard on Shinra activities. 50 of all targets now had to be run past Reeve and Barret was keeping an eye on the situation too. The last thing anyone needed was for him to shoot up the building again.

"So what's this about?" she asked bluntly, causing a sweat drop to appear on the Wutain's forehead. _Since when did I start sweating from fear?_

"About certain incidents that transpired a day ago. You assaulted several members of my staff, causing numerous injuries."

She didn't even blink.

"Although this was remedied by a ample supply of restore materia, it would be in our best interests if the event was not to repeat itself."

"Is that a threat, Mr Tseng?" she asked, placing her arms behind her back.

_Again with the fucking direct approach. Leviathan, why me?_ "In a manner of speaking… yes?" He winced at his own words, expecting the worst. But it didn't come.

"So your asking me not to beat up your staff again."

_Relief!_

"Because, unfortunately, under certain circumstances I cannot guarantee their safety."

_Fuck!_

"I understand there was mitigating circumstances, but I-"

"If I awake in a compromising position with them around me and no recollection, I shall take matters into my own hands."

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_ "There is a solution to this, Miss Lockheart." There is?

"There is?" she asked, taken aback by this change in direction.

"Is there a possibility of you joining the Turks?"

_Okay. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10. WHAT THE FUCK?!_

"What?" she gasped, a now-gloved hand holding her chest out of shock

_The glove? Shit, she would have gone bone breaking..._ "You have the skill to join, and would need no additional martial arts training," Tseng said, trying to keep calm for a man who is trying to make up shit to save his life.

"I'll think about it, Tseng." And with that he left. She could of sworn she heard a sigh of relief as the door closed behind him. "Me, a Turk huh?"

"Maybe…"

---

**A/N: And quick cut! I have somehow managed to make a cliff-hanger out of a filler chapter. Go me and my BS skills! Review please.**


	12. Breaking the news

**Cue Rebounds 11**

**Breaking the news**

**Disclaimer: Not mine etc.**

**A/N: I left a large cliff-hanger last chapter and realised I may have been writing Tifa a bit OCC. However now that she's got the offer will she take it?**

**Reno: So Tifa maybe joining the Turks?**

**Me: Yes.**

**Reno: Who switch sexual partners like… it was a game of hot potato?**

**Me: In a sense, yes.**

**Reno: YOU ROCK!**

**Me: Yes. Yes I do.**

**---**

It had been a strange turn of events for Tifa Lockheart.

In the span of a few days she had begun doing things that would normally would not be associated with her.

She had gone on a bar crawl, got involved in a catfight, and had just recently been offered a job in the Turks.

But would Cloud let her join?

It was well known that Cloud couldn't stand the Turks. He was never one to forgive and forget; he can still recall when Reno brought down the Sector Seven plate, even if it was under instruction. He was warming up to some of the newer recruits such as Akalara and Kandi, but still had nothing but disdain for Reno. So did she, but that was mainly because he'd flirt with anything which had two breasts, a pair of legs, and a pulse.

Shinra was supposed to be on their side now. Vincent had already been brought back to the Turks so she'd have at least someone looking out for her. Quite frankly she was getting sick of being a bartender, and the thought of doing it for the rest of her life...

She slowly moved up the stairs, a Heal materia in hand to relieve him of the hangover.

Tifa had told him that it was a bad idea to get into a drinking contest with Barret.

"Cloud honey?" she asked sweetly as she opened the door.

"The light…" he mumbled. "It burns."

"Esuna," Tifa cast, causing a blue light to envelope Cloud. He shot bolt upright.

"AAH! Teef, that's not the most comfortable hangover cure you know," he said, massaging his temples.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"What's wrong, Teef?" Cloud asked, knowing there was something going on with her; usually if she had just snapped him out of a hangover it would be a playful giggle followed by an instruction to take care of Marlene and Denzel.

"Well, there was something I wanted to ask you," she said softly.

"What is it?" he asked. "You know you can ask me anything, as long as it doesn't involve a 'Birds and the Bees' talk to the kids." He smiled reassuringly.

"Could I go and join Turks?" she asked while trying to do a puppy dog face.

Cloud froze.

"Cloud?" she asked. There was still no response from the swordsman. "Cloud?"

Still nothing.

Tifa sighed. "G-string." Cloud quickly shook his head, snapping out of his trance.

"You…" Cloud managed, "Want to join… the Turks?"

"Yeah, Tseng just offered me a job." Cloud looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

"Why?" he gasped.

"Well," the martial artist began. "Ever since the remnants and what happened between me and Loz, I've been looked upon as the weak one in Avalanche. The one who always needs rescuing, the one who is out of her depth in everything!" A solitary tear graced her cheek.

"Come on Teef. You're not weak at all," Cloud reassured her.

"I just...wanted to do something on my own and not have it blow up in my face, you know? I want to be independent." Seeing the look on Cloud's face, she shook her head violently. "I don't want to be without you, Cloud. I just don't want to need you or anyone for support all the time."

"But why the Turks? You could probably be a mercenary or bounty hunter. You don't need to join the STD club for that," Cloud protested. "It took a long time for us to get to where we are now, and you know what the Turks are like."

"Are you suggesting I might…" Tifa stated, shocked that her lover would even think that she'd be unfaithful, on purpose.

"No, I just don't want Reno to get you drunk out of your skull then wake up next to him, or Rude for that matter!" Cloud said defensively.

"So, you're saying its okay as long as I stay away from him."

"Or at least show me pictures of you beating the crap out of him again," he said with a sheepish grin.

"Why would that help?" she asked.

"It would show that you weren't willing if he did anything to you and I'd only have to go to the hospital if I wanted revenge," he said. "You can go ahead, Teef, if it's what you want. I'll quit the delivery service and work the bar for you."

"You'd do all that for me?" she asked, the puppy dog face making its comeback.

"If it'll make you happy, babe, then sure," Cloud said slowly.

"Thank you!" Tifa squealed before wrapping her arms around Cloud and squeezing.

"Tifa…Need…Air!" Cloud gasped.

---

Most Turk applicants have to go through an appraisal of skills from basic combat to interrogation techniques. Tifa had arrived at the Shinra building and changed for hand-to-hand combat. When she entered the dojo that the Turks use for sparring, she found that there were many women hoping to get in; there didn't appear to be a male among the group. No prizes for guessing why the security cameras are turned on for this one, she thought to herself.

"Afternoon, ladies," said a familiar voice from the door way. "Teef! Didn't expect to see you here. Can't keep away from me I see." The red-head smirked while he said this.

_You keep thinking that way Reno. Let's see how far you can fly._

"OK! Let's get this thing started!" Reno shouted to the rest of the group. "Since the best way to test your skills is to compare them to the current Turks, I'll be taking on you lot one at a time. The people who I judge as the best will get a personal recommendation by me." He said this with an air of confidence that just made Tifa want to puke.

The trial started with the first few girls trying to fight Reno but all getting wrestled to the ground, followed by a slap on the butt whenever they left to resume their spot. _What. A. Perv,_ Tifa thought. "So who's next?" Reno asked while wiping away a bead of sweat.

"I am," Tifa said before walking to the center of the dojo where Reno was standing.

"Really?" Reno said in a mixture of apprehension and surprise. He quickly regained his composure. "I knew you couldn't keep your hands off me." _Right answer, wrong reasons, Reno._

Reno was the first to make a move, launching a quick kick that she dodged perfectly, countering with one of her own.

He just dodged the first blow, but when he took a look to see if there was any indication to what she was going to do next, a tightening of the muscles, his eyes quickly wondered to her breasts.

"Honk!" he said as he grabbed one of them, causing Tifa's eyes to go wide with rage. That little move had sealed his fate.

A knee to the testicles was her response, causing him to howl out in pain and release his grip. A punch to the face quickly followed and then she grabbed the arm that had sexually harassed her, beginning to twist it in ways an arm was never meant to go.

A pop was heard and Reno closed his eyes in agony. Tifa released the arm after driving a knee into his stomach, causing him to drop to the floor. She wasn't done yet.

An evil smirk played across her face while she grabbed his leg and began giving it similar treatment. The remaining limbs started to flail about before they were seized. Hoisting the Turk into the air, she spun him around once or twice, causing his sense of balance to go before driving his head into the mat.

"Okay…Teef," Reno coughed out. "You…win." However, the words were lost on the Avalanche member as she pulled him back up to his feet only to hurl him into the wall.

"Fuck this!" she said defiantly. "There is no way in hell I'm going to work with you every day." With that she stormed straight out of the building and headed back to the bar.

---

"So what did you think of that show, Amazons?" asked a smiling Akalara, viewing the whole fight from her office along with Kandi, Ram, and Katrina.

"Brilliant!" Ram said excitedly. "Could you rewind to the bit where she breaks his arm?"

The footage returned to the moment when Tifa's fist connected with Reno's face. You could just make out a small portion of blood flying from his lips.

"Beautiful," Katrina commented.

"Remember who made this possible, girls," interrupted Kandi. She was the one who had fed the security footage straight to Akalara's laptop.

"We won't," they sang in chorus before all of them broke out in laughter.

"Got any popcorn, Kandi?" asked Akalara.

"Let me check." The red streaked Turk quickly searched her pockets before shaking her head. "Nope. Sorry, Ak."

"Looks like the Vending Machine needs restocking," Katrina said between fits of giggles.

"Hey!"

**---**

**Reno: Why do you hate me so?**

**Me: I don't, I'm thinking of putting you in a cross-over with the girls from FFX-2**

**Reno: You mean…**

**Me: Yep.**

**Reno: ALL IS FORGIVEN**

**Me struggling to get Reno to break the hug: Review please**


	13. Cue Morning

**Cue rebounds 12**

**Cue Morning**

**Okay I have really got to learn to let things go of certain jokes after one chapter, or even just discard cliff hangers like an empty packet of crisps. However, I seem to fall into the habit of once I've made some material I just can't let it go, I have to do more to it which leads to more jokes etc.**

**However these problems can hopefully be resolved by actually moving on to the bulk of the story.**

**So more Turks, yay!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned FF7 or any of its characters, AC would have never existed and there would be an elimination of anything that could even _hint_ at Yaoi.**

**---**

"Hey 'Laney," Reno practically purred at his fellow Turk.

"Reno…" The blond sighed, she was still looking for something, or more like someone and did not need to be bugged by Reno.

It had been over a week since she and Tseng had broken up, and they both had slept with someone else. She had gotten Rude with 'permission' from Kandi, he had Niki bent over his damn desk. That still infuriated her, despite her liaison with the bald Turk. That exact spot was where the two had done it before, he made it special. For someone who was as work-obsessed as Tseng, he seemed more than willing to drop everything for her. If she wanted to get laid right in the office, all she had to do was ask and he'd gladly shove all his paper work to the floor to make room.

_  
That_ was the problem. Tseng was seemingly forever lodged within her mind as her best ever; it needed someone special to break that hold on Elena's mind.

"Got a new mission for us. Apparently we've got to head out to the Gongaga ruins. Some serial rapist has been rumoured to be around there, and they need us to weed him or her out," Reno said throwing Elena the folder. The second-to-last word caught her off-guard.

"Her?" Elena asked, slightly fearing the response.

"With a name like the one the target has, it could be either," Reno stated bluntly.

"A female rapist?"

" 'Laney, it's not such an abstract concept if you've seen the things I have," Reno said in a don't-want-this-to-continue voice.

"I know Tifa kicked your ass, but she didn't rape you," Elena said, causing Reno to scowl at her.

"Let's just go, 'Laney," Reno sighed as he left the office to head towards the car park.

"You still too sore to drive?" she asked mockingly. The opportunity was too good to pass up.

---

Suffice it to say, Gongaga was crap.

The rain was pouring down. The heat and humidity got on Reno's nerves while Elena's allergies seemed to kick in at the most inopportune moments.

"When I -achoo!- get back to Edge, I am going to fucking -achoo!- kill Tseng!" Elena complained while Reno hacked his way through the jungle to the destroyed reactor.

Gongaga held some bad memories for Reno. When the reactor blew, it was his job to search the village to find the culprit; if it failed to show results, he'd torch the home of his former best friend. It seemed originally like a malfunction, and that the village was caught in the blast, so it wouldn't make sense for one of their own to kill them all. The reactor was hurting the surroundings badly, but it was never one of the best-made ones. It was riddled with design faults.

It was Scarlet's notion that it was the first reactor to be bombed by an eco-terrorist group. One of the villagers mentioned to him that it was done by the people at Corel, and thus the town was burnt and buried.

Damn Scarlet. He always hated that bitch, the way she walked as if she owned the damn place, just making new ways of killing, one of which was his very own EMR.

Since then the place seemed cursed to the Turks, although Reeve had warned him that AVALANCHE was headed their way, they still ended up being beaten heavily. That time Rude was involved and hurt badly as well. The only Turks who did not need to go to the Gold Saucer infirmary were Tseng and Elena.

The thick vines repelled them. Everything moving attacked them as if the great Leviathan hated them just for being there.

And still no sign of the fucking target!

_  
Speak of the Devil, _Reno thought to himself as he saw movement in the disused reactor. Human movement.

The two Turks slowly advanced. Catching a glimpse of who they were following proved that it was the target. Reno drew his EMR and crept up on the distant figure. He was within 10 meters before a gun shot was fired and the target slumped forward.

"Hey 'Laney, give me a chance yo," Reno said without turning around.

"I'm soaking wet over here, you know, Reno," she said defiantly, holding a smoking gun in one hand. The white shirt underneath the blue jacket was quickly becoming see-through. "Can we go home now?" she asked.

"Fine." Reno honestly didn't mind working with Elena on a hit; out in the open the two got along fine.There was the occasional cheap shot, but it was all in good fun. But with so many rookies taking their place, the senior Turks got less and less targets, more going to the next generation.

However, Reno's time of contemplation was cut short when he heard the distinct sound of a car exploding. This was confirmed when the door of a BMW M5 came flying through the air to land by Reno's feet. _Fuck, Another Turk car totalled._

"So we're stuck here?" asked Elena "What the fuck are we going to do?" At that moment, the gods found that it was the right time to send a lightning bolt crashing down.

"Looks like it… Fuck!" Reno screamed as a lightning bolt came down near the two.

The two quickly headed towards the village. Neither the forest or the reactor was a safe place to stay the night in a thunderstorm. "When _I_ get a hold of Tseng, I'm gonna fucking kill him as well!" shouted Reno as the two ran towards the Inn.

Any monsters that tried to brave the storm were quickly shot down by Elena's Colt python or fried by Reno's EMR. By the time they made the Inn, they were both completely soaked in both water and monster blood.

"Fucking monsters," Elena gasped in her blanket, both Turks clothes now occupying a radiator. A sudden strike of lightning complete with a roar of thunder caused Elena to jump and grab hold of Reno.

" 'Laney? You scared of thunderstorms?" Reno asked.

"Shut up Reno," she said as another crackle caused her to squeeze his hand.

" 's okay, I'm just surprised you'd grab me. Would have thought you'd have grabbed the maid. Not that I blame you; she is smoking hot," he said with his trademark grin.

"I'm not a lesbian!"

"Just messing with ya."

Elena sighed. A conflict was taking place in her head; part of her did want to start flirting with Reno, knowing that it would really piss Tseng off. Most of Reno's fuck-buddies had given him good reviews... Hell, _all _of them did.

The other half screamed _No! This is Reno we're talking about here! It was his fault you and Tseng broke up in the first place!_

Her adventurous half-tried arguing that it would have happened anyway, if not now then later. He was too much of an ass during work hours.

"Elena?" asked Reno.

What happened next surprised them both. Elena reached out towards Reno, drawing him in for a hug. "Shit 'Laney, what's gotten in to you today?"

"You don't like this?" she asked, seemingly hurt.

"It's not that. It's just so sudden," Reno admitted.

"I just need this now, Reno. Today's been shit."

"Okay. Just remember that if we wind up in a bed with no clothes on, you can't play the drunk card," Reno joked. In retaliation, Elena punched him in the arm. "Ouch! That's still sore, you know."

---

The storm had dissipated, and the morning was beautiful to Elena. _Wait, morning? Where the hell did night go? Or evening, for that matter?_ She risked turning over, dreading the sight of a red mess next to her. When she didn't see it, she breathed a sigh of relief.

That is, until Reno came out of the shower.

"Shit. Rude was right. You truly are mind blowing."

Elena hated mornings.

---

**Reviews are greatly appreciated.**


	14. Unlucky for some

**Cue Rebounds 13**

**Unlucky for some**

**Well this hasn't been updated in a long time has it? Curse you writers block!**

**Reno: Shouldn't you do the disclaimer?**

**Me: You do it. I'm busy cursing writers block.**

**Reno: Okay, the author hereby admits that he does not own Final Fantasy VII, its locations, characters. Or most non-canon characters appearing here.**

**Me: Well I'm done cursing it.**

**Reno: really? That was quick.**

**Me: Its what I like to call a hyper-curse mode. I curse people so quickly they don't hear it.**

**Reno: Really?**

**Me: No.**

**Reno: Oh.**

**Me: Idiot.**

**(Gets zapped by Reno)**

**Reno: Owned.**

**---**

Elena hated mornings.

She had since she started sleeping with Tseng. The nights were always filled with passion, knowing that he would return to being the cold boss of the Turks in the morning. Elena never wanted them to end. To her, morning signified that her wish for the endless night with him was denied, yet again. Although she welcomed the sight of Tseng every morning while he was still in 'lover mode', the inevitability of his shift in personas hurt Elena.

When she dumped him, she started to hate mornings less; there wasn't need to adjust to _his _state of mind. That was until, of course, she woke up in the company of six other women, one of which was not happy with the circumstances and was very… aggressive when she woke up.

But this morning was the worst of all.

This was the morning after she had slept with _Reno. _And she couldn't use the 'Reno got me so drunk he was able to get an easy lay' card. She had been sober the whole time.

Elena wished she wasn't.

_  
Why would I ever want to sleep with him?_ The question turned over and over in Elena's mind, until Reno asked "What's wrong 'Laney?" She punched him in the face.

"What was that for?" he shouted, clutching his nose.

"For fucking taking advantage of me!" Elena screamed, her eyes quickly scanning the room for things to throw at Reno before settling on the remote and lobbing it at his head.

"Hey, you were sober!" Reno said defensively while ducking the airborne TV remote.

"GET OUT! GET OUT!" Elena shouted, throwing pillows, the alarm clock, and a bed knob at the red head, chasing him out of the hotel room only wearing a towel.

"Elena?" he asked in a pleading voice. "Can you let me back in? please? It's cold out here."

There was no response from the blonde Turk.

"Pretty please?"

"No" was the one-word reply from the other side of the door.

"Come on 'Laney! I can't go back in a towel! I'll get mauled by Niki, Ak, and Brit."

"No."

"Elena, why are you so angry at me?" asked Reno.

"Isn't it obvious, you jerk?" Elena retorted sharply.

"Listen, if it was just the fact that you'd woken up next to a colleague, would you treat him like this?"

"Most of the other Turks wouldn't do this to me." Reno could have sworn he heard a small sob.

"Okay, 'Laney, 'fess up. Why don't you like me? Is it because I messed up your hair or all those pranks? Because if it helps, I wasn't just victimising you." Reno once again heard a small sob.

"'Laney?" The lock on the door clicked open and Reno entered, putting on his best puppy dog face in the hopes of not being thrown out again.

"Do you really want to know?" she asked in an angry voice.

"Well, yeah," Reno said. Elena stood up, inhaled, and begin to shout.

"It's because when I first started in this fucking job you were always the one to put me down! Always the one to point out my faults! Always the one to make me feel weak! Always the one who tried to make me re-think my career choice! You never gave this sort of treatment to Akalara or Kandi because those two were old friends and one of them was and still is your fuck buddy!" She started breathing deeply, trying to catch her breath.

"Hey, it wasn't just me, Tseng did it just as much as if not more than me. How come I'm the one whose being yelled at for this?" Reno asked. What he was saying was true. And he didn't show that much favouritism to the Human Vending Machine or the Green Girl. Did he?

"It's just that you were being a fucking hypocrite to me! Always telling me to become a good Turk, when most of the time you ran away from fights, got drunk and tried to get laid whenever you could spare the time!" She stood there, puffing and panting.

"All that Sephiroth shit was going down back then! 'Laney, you know first-hand how bad it felt to run in to them every ten days. You're the one who had the nerve and went straight for them, on your own. Do you honestly think you would be half the woman you are now if we hadn't been like that? We needed the best back then, and you, well, you were the best trainee of the lot," Reno continued. He knew Elena was beginning to calm down as she sat on the mattress.

"You thought I was the best?" she asked.

"Hell, you wouldn't have made it to senior Turk if you weren't, 'Laney. You were on the same level as me from that little extra push, and it wasn't just me!" Reno quickly added as Elena eyed her weapon. "And, well, you deserve it."

"Thanks Reno…" Elena said before laying down.

"So you're not trying to kill me now?" Reno asked.

"Would I be offering you another chance if I was?" Elena asked with a sly grin on her face. Reno didn't need telling twice as he dove back under the sheets. "Just one thing. Promise I won't have bombs in my sex toys or any sort of animal in clothes."

Reno weighed up the possibilities, wondering whether or not Niki or Akalara would gang up on Elena if they found out that Reno was sleeping with her as well as them. "Promise." he quickly said before sending his tongue to work its magic on Elena.

---

Back at Turk HQ, Elena and Reno arrived with their hair in a mess and their normally pristine uniforms tattered. Niki rushed towards Reno.

"Oh my gosh, what happened?" she asked quickly, seemingly fussing over Reno.

"Jungle plants…" Reno began before Niki dragged him off to 'get changed'. This gave him just enough time to see the death-glare Elena shot at the clinically-insane girl.

_  
Forget protecting Elena from them. Who the fuck is going to protect them from Elena?_ Reno thought to himself.

---

**Yay! Two quick updates from me in succession. (Different M rated stories though.)**


	15. Movie night

**Cue Rebounds 14**

**Movie Night**

**Okay for a few chapters I've had the running joke about the footage for the Turk movie night so here is the compilation of all the footage. From the orgy to Reno getting his ass kicked to random interludes I present to you for one chapter only: Shinra Turk's monthly movie night! I hope it's okay if all the Turks from Operation Assassination are involved because I don't think it would be fair to leave them out of this humour.**

**Also because it is approaching the time of year for hectic, last-minute shopping, wrapping and organizing. I decided I'd give the beta reader; Dantesdarkqueen, this chapter off to spend some time with the family or whatever. So the grammar may not be up to scratch.**

**(Note: the OC Turks apart from Joel, Kandi, Katrina, Ram, Niki and Akalara are only going to be in this chapter for cameos and since they weren't involved in earlier chapters, have not seen the message board footage yet so it's all new to them).**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, if it was. I'd make this story completely canon just to watch the reactions of fan-girls.**

**200 words of A/N? Wow.**

**---**

The 7th Heaven was completely full of people in Navy blue suits. Tseng had rented the bar for the evening and had given Tifa a blank cheque to cover all expenses.

Movie night was always a costly affair and with around 20 rookies? There was no chance in hell Rufus would let him use one of the rooms in the Shinra building. It hadn't been safe to use the only possible room for this since thanksgiving. The yams were still there and was still on fire for some unearthly reason.

Also this was the only bar in Edge that would accommodate the Turks without the need to threaten the owner with negotiated suicide.

Cloud had braced himself for the oncoming barrage by sending off Marlene and Denzel to once again stay with Barret. While although none of the Turks had a mouth really to offend them _that_ much (they've been exposed to Cid for long enough), the large amount of anticipated sex jokes or references was not something Cloud nor Tifa was willing to go through with the kids.

The tables had been put away and every available bar stool, chair and bench had been placed in rows in front of a large screen. The Amazons were adamant about sitting in the front row, Katrina going so far as to sit on Sage's lap causing the female equivalent of Reno to receive a scowl from Ram. Sage of course had no complaint with the matter.

The original red-head had chosen to sit near the back in hopes of trying to avoid attention from any of his girls until Niki and Akalara decided to sit either side of him, caressing his hair while sending death glares at each other.

N.C. had decided to sit near Vincent but soon shuffled away after seeing his 'I really just wish to be alone at this moment of time' look. Yuffie however, who had decided to once again join the festivities, was undeterred by this.

"Hi Vinny!"

"…"

"Don't dot dot dot me Vince, I just thought I'd sit down here next to someone I can trust." Yuffie said, looking hurt."

"…Fine."

"Thanks Vinny!" And with that she tried leaning her head against his chest, causing a sigh to emerge from the gunslinger.

Tseng was still trying to avoid Elena at all costs and showed no emotion when Nina sat down next to him. At least she wouldn't try anything with him.

"Okay people settle down!" Joel announced, nothing happened for 5 minutes. Changing tactics he took out his air horn and blasted it causing Tifa to drop a glass and every other person in the room to temporarily cover their ears.

"No that you've all settled down," he said smirking in the face of the all the glares, "Welcome to the official Shinra Turk movie night! This month it's been a pleasure to be chosen to be chosen to host this month's event. It is also an opportunity to show a small collection of what I like to call, best of the Shinra blooper reel!" Tseng rolled his eyes over this one, it can not end well.

The occasion proceeded without too much going wrong. The Amazons in the front had too much to drink after the first two movies, Katrina was now being refused service from Tifa and so had resorted to stealing drinks from Ram. Niki and Akalara were continuing their little war over Reno. Nina was eyeing up Tifa and Yuffie was for all intents and purposes, surgically attached to Vincent. Much to his apparent displeasure.

One thing Tseng did notice was that Elena occasionally shot death glares in Reno's direction whenever Niki or Ak tried to get a bit more physical with the red-head. This was generally accepted as normal behaviour from Elena. She didn't like Reno much and hated the fact that he was always involved with more than one women at a time, but these death-glares were slightly… off.

They weren't the ones that give the impression of 'stop acting like a fucking idiot and get back to work/stop disturbing the rest of us' that were usually part of Elena's weapons against Reno. These glares were more jealous ones. The only time Tseng saw Elena give one of those to anyone was when one of his secretaries started hitting on him. Aforementioned secretary was later found suspended from her panties in what can only be described as a two story atomic super wedgie.

_But that would mean…No, not him. _Tseng thought to himself. How could he have lost her to Reno of all people?

"And now for the main event!" Joel announced. The blooper reel featured the race for Tseng's office between the Amazons and Akalara only to find that Niki had beaten them two it. All the girls involved scowled slightly at this while Tifa just shook her head.

Next up was highlights of all the Reno verses Tifa fights which caused Cloud to act completely out of character and double over in laughter with the rest of the Turks except for Reno and Vincent at all the kicks to the face, punches to the stomach and Meteor strikes that Tifa dished out.

The first impulse Reno had to this was to scowl at the footage, especially the latest edition of Tifa's sparring session with the Turk, causing a twinge in his left shoulder but remembered about what he had planned for the grand finale. Joel would live to regret embarrassing him like this.

All the Turks had thought that the footage was over until up upon the screen, flickered on the footage recorded by one of Joel's spy cameras all those days ago. The footage of the lesbian orgy between the Amazons, Akalara, Tifa, Elena and Yuffie.

Joel was stunned by this, Sage's jaw hit the floor, Rude started to sweat slightly while Cloud recovered from his laughing fit to just stare at the steamy action.

Black and Widow quickly covered N.C's eyes and ears to preserve what was left of her innocence. Silhouette started to drool slightly and Nina bent over to whisper in Kandi's ear "how come you didn't invite me for that?"

The 5 Turks turned death glares on Joel who started to back away towards the door. Yuffie and Tifa figured out who was behind it and sent their death glares to the mechanic as well.

"Now ladies," he pleaded "I didn't put that footage on the reel! Honest!" This fell on deaf ears as all of the Turk's drew their weapons, the alcohol coursing through their veins not having that much effect on their aim, Yuffie took out her conformer and Tifa put on her trademark pair of leather gloves.

Joel quickly ran out of the door followed by seven very angry women, bullet flew towards him, one grazing his shoulder and Yuffie appeared out of nowhere to kick him in the face. The Turks, the ninja and the bartender all stood over him, no hint of remorse in any one of them.

"Pick a body part." Tifa said to the rest.

Meanwhile Reno started to chuckle, revenge sure was sweet.

---

**Ah well. Hope you enjoyed that, don't forget to review and merry Christmas or equivalent holiday in the winter. Try not to get to sick over all the food and drink. January 1st is national hang-over day not December 26th.**


	16. Wants and Needs

**Cue Rebounds 15**

**Wants and Needs**

**It is still alive!**

**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing except for the plot.**

**---**

The working morning for a Turk never really begins until 10 o' clock, when it was officially supposed to have started at half past 8. This allows for all hangover medicine to be taken, food to be eaten, and sexual partners to find their corresponding clothes.

It also allowed the boss of the Turks to think things through. Things like how many phoenix downs had a gang of viscous women (five of which were on his payroll) used to keep Joel alive only to deal more harm to him. How much was his hospital bill going to cost him. What would be the apt disciplinary measure to those on payroll and how he could avoid being the next target of aggression of those not on the payroll while still maintaining a degree of authority over them.

And who to send on _that_ suicide mission.

"Reno…" The Wutain growled the name. He'd never particularly gotten along well with the red-head playboy. Something about him just annoyed Tseng, possibly the way he acted around the building, as if he didn't care what his superiors thought of him, the way he came in to work not just hung-over but drunk. He was very good at his job however, Reno was one of the most experienced Turks in the business and most of the important jobs to do in the field were given to him.

But now? It had become personal. Everyone in the Turks had found out about Reno and Elena's little 'adventure' back in Gongaga. If they hadn't Elena's actions at the movie night gave the game away, or would have if it wasn't for Tseng's denial of what happened.

"Why… why him? Why Reno of all people?" Tseng asked to the air. He still couldn't believe who he'd lost Elena to. He drummed his fingers on his desk before turning to his watch. Still an hour before anyone actually showed up in a fit state to work in.

_What I would give for things to be normal again. _He thought to himself. _No, I won't let my personal life intervene with my professional one. It… just won't work… it will not work out, all it will do is have a detrimental impact to me and the rest of the staff._

_But wasn't that what drove her away from me in the first place?_

_I kept my two lives separate, neglecting the one person involved intimately with both. Elena._

_Is that what she wants from me? _

_---_

_What does she want from me? _Reno thought to himself, looking at how many messages were from Elena on his mobile since last night. There was ten in a space of less than four hours. Pressing the delete button on all of them he lent against the wall of his apartment bedroom and let out a sigh.

"Reno? You coming back in or do I have to do everything myself here?" Asked an indignant Brit lying naked on his double bed.

"Brit, I need some time to think things through okay, sorry." Reno apologized before leaving the room.

"Its okay I'll just have to finger myself the rest of the way." She shot back towards the Red-head.

"Your vibrator's in the bottom draw, you left it there three days ago, it needs re-charging." He said before closing the door on the rookie Turk.

"Fuck you!"

"You just did!" Came the reply from the other side of the door.

_Just what does Elena want from me? _he asked himself again. _I can't do commitment, I tried it once just my reputation bit that plan in the ass. If she wants exclusivity I'm not the one to ask for it. _Picking up his phone again he dialled the female Turk.

"Elena, we need to talk."

---

**Short chapter but what did you think of it? A bit too much angst? Anyway this is probably going to be finished (finally) pretty soon so I can work on my other stories.**


	17. On Cue

**Cue Rebounds**

**Chapter 16 (I think)**

**On Cue**

**This story has now broken the 2000 hit mark! Woo! This is going to be the last chapter unfortunately, but don't worry. With this out of the way I can concentrate on my other works.**

**Disclaimer: I don't freaking own this okay? **

**---**

Elena would be nearly in tears over this if it wasn't for a few things. One, she was supposed to be a senior Turk, they have to keep themselves detached from their emotions. Second, it wasn't that big of a deal, she only slept with Reno once, err… only slept with him in a 24 hour period, how did he know she wanted some form of commitment.

Third and most important of all, she wasn't sad. She just wanted to punch the Red-head opposite her in the face while he rambled on about 'I'm not ready for that kind of commitment.' 'Maybe we can just be close friends.' What did Reno know about long term commitments anyway? Its not like he'd ever get involved in one. He just likes sex.

"So, 'Laney. You sure you gonna be okay like this? I don't like to see a fellow Turk heartbroken yo."

_Yeah, it actually gives you a slight pang of guilt before you fuck them, regardless of gender. _Elena thought rebelliously.

"Elena, I'm sorry. When I we got started I didn't know you wanted it to be more than a comfort or rebound fuck." Reno continued.

"You know what Reno, I think I'm going to be okay with this." Elena said, not meeting his gaze.

"You sure 'Laney?" He asked moving over towards her.

"Now I am. Thanks Reno."

"For what?"

"Moving in range." She said before her leg snapped out in a kick at his groin. It connected at Reno fell to the ground with a satisfying squeal of pain. She got up, tipped the waitress and left the coffee shop with Reno on the floor.

---

Elena's journey to Shinra building was not an uneventful one. The sound of an explosion in the distance caused the Taxi she was ridding in to stop, sending her into contact with the front seat. She knew that it meant a job well done by one of the rookies but did they have to be so loud at it? So by the time she actually reached the building she was not in the best mood. Demonstrated by her shooting the lock off her office door instead of simply using the key card.

Yep, she was defiantly pissed.

Not the best time then for someone to try and talk with her. For that you needed nerves of steel and the ability to hold a perfect poker face if you can't.

So as if by the joke of the higher power, this was the moment Tseng decided to try to talk with Elena.

"Excuse me, Elena?"

"What?!" She snapped before placing her hand over her mouth realising she was speaking to the head of the Turks.

"Its okay, you have every right to be angry at me."

"Tseng?"

"Look, the reason we broke up was because I kept my personal life separate from my professional one."

"Tseng…"

"I understand that I have said before that having a heart in this job clouds peoples judgement but it seems that not having one involved has a similar effect. So, Elena. For you I will no longer be two people. I will be only one, one who is completely crazy about you."

"Tseng…I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"We can't just get back together," she clicked her fingers "just like that. I know you're willing to try it but am I? We fell apart, not just because of some major misunderstanding but because of an underlying problem in our relationship."

"But we can fix it together!"

"I'm sorry Tseng, I think you were right in the first place. Keep the heart out of the Turks. It only makes it worse." She left Tseng right there in her office trying to hold back the tears.

---

Reno entered the Turk levels still hobbling a bit, _Shit Elena can really kick hard!_ He thought to himself, he was at the door to his and Elena's office when he was glomped by a hyperactive Niki.

"Hey Reno!" She said with a smile on her face.

"Now Niki? Isn't it a bit distracting to everyone else if we had sex right here?" Her response was a playful punch on the arm.

"No silly! I just thought I'd let you know that I've got you all to myself from now on."

"Why?" He asked, eyeing the clinically-insane one suspiciously.

"Just thought I'd take care of two birds with one stone, that's all," Reno's eyes went wide in horror, contemplating what the rookie had done. "Please, I haven't done anything physically harmful. I'm not that bad a girl."

"That's what you thought about the lard, look what happened there."

"Well this time I know nothings going to happen." _Mentally harmed? I can't promise that. _She added in her head before dragging Reno off to somewhere soundproofed and private.

---

"EEEEEEK!" The high pitched scream deafened most people on the Turk floors. Tseng instantly knew who it was from.

"Elena!" he shouted before dashing off to the women's toilets, where the scream originated from.

Damning the formalities, he barged into the restroom seeing a terrified Akalara and Elena and of course, the giant spider which was the cause of this outcry.

"Get it away! Get it away!" Akalara shouted, huddling up in the corner shivering.

"Tseng! Thank Leviathan. Kill it!" Elena shouted. The Purple spider with the green patterns turned towards the new entrant, its mandibles making clicking sounds and drool leaking from its mouth. Tseng quickly drew his Desert Eagle and fired at the over-sized bug. The thing speed away from Tseng and into to the ventilation system to dodge the shots. The three people in the roof were all breathing heavily.

"What…was that thing?" Tseng asked, Elena just shook her head.

"My Hero!" Akalara exclaimed, getting up and making a dive for Tseng only to be shoved out of the way and into the mirror by Elena.

"He's mine Green Bitch! Hey Tseng, you know what I said earlier? Forget it. Only you would have saved me from the giant spider." She said hugging Tseng tightly.

"So what now?" Tseng asked.

"I don't know about you but I could do with some sex while the adrenaline's still pumping." She said, smiling as she saw the corners of his mouth twitch before she allowed him to take her back to his office to patch up their relationship.

--- a few hours later.

Kandi was starting to get worried about Niki's actions. The clinically insane one had been acting strange after she had dragged off Reno for a bit of action. She was now looking up with a concerned expression on her face.

"Something up Niki-chan?"

"Mr Bigglesworth won't come out from the vents?" Niki replied still looking at the air vents.

"Mr Bigglesworth?"

"Yeah, I found him in the ruins of old Midgar, he acts like a tough spider but he's really very shy. Someone must have hurt or frightened him."

Kandi did a double take. She had heard from Akalara that a spider had attacked her and Elena in the toilets, so why was it a surprise to her that Niki had befriended it beforehand?

---

**And it is over. Leave a review please telling me your opinion of the story please, it comes in handy when making new fics.**


	18. CR Outtakes

**CR Outtakes**

"**Because a lot worse can happen"**

_**Okay, since one of the people who's characters I borrowed did this for two of her fics, she has inspired me to do my own outtake reel. For the LOLZ.**_

_**Yeah… so here is a sneak peak of what the hell happened behind the scenes at 21st Century Maniac studios **_

_**---**_

(Room with all the cast in, before the fic starts)

Me: Okay. Hello ladies and gentleman. I'm the maniac, CEO, director, chairman of the board etc. of 21st century maniac studios. Any questions? (numerous people raise there hands)… hmm… you at the back with the streaked hair.

Kandi: Why the fuck are we here? We're not your OCs, you don't have any!

Me: Well since there was already an established pool for Turk OCs and the fact that TV has killed my imagination, I asked for a loan from your respective creators.

Katrina: So are we getting paid for this or what?

Me: Smirnoff's in the fridge, donuts in the shelf. Any other questions? Hmm… Reno.

Reno: Do any of us get laid in this fic?

Me: possibly. It is a foregone conclusion that Tseng and Elena will get laid but to who? I'm not sure. Okay last question… um… Spike.

Cloud: Why am I here, I'm not part of the Turks.

Me: Cameo appearance, same with Yuffie and Tifa. I think. Plans are subject to change depending on head trauma. So lets get this fic started!

---

_**Yeah, I thought I'd be easy, I mean. I had just gotten started with FFVII fics here. I even made a script for a FFVII/IX cross over back on a game forum. Got lost though. But still. I'd thought I'd give it a shot.**_

_**---**_

"Elena I'm…"

"Save it."

"Elena?"

"I don't want to have a relationship with you"

"look, if this is about what happened in my office…"

"Its not just that Tseng."

"Then what is it?"

Elena: Its that the author won't give us descriptions at the end of dialogue, I mean it can really be confusing.

Me: CUT! Listen, it's a two person conversation, you don't need that much description do you?

Elena: YES! I want everyone else to imagine how hot my Tsengy is!

Tseng: …

Me: …

Elena: What?

---

_**Yeah, it kind of went downhill from there**_

---

She gave a small smile, one eyelid flickers

She drew a pistol from her knickers.

Kandi: (coughing) Rip Off!

Me: What now?

Kandi: That was totally stolen from somewhere! Like you said TV killed off your imagination so you wouldn't be able to make rhymes.

Me: Do you know where I ripped that off from?

Kandi: No but…

Me: Neither do I, so shut up. (Turning back to the cameras), Okay we can edit that bit with me and Kandi out right? Good. Okay scene starts again in 1-2- AGRH MY KNEE!

Kandi: Owned.

---

_**Dissentions between the cast and director, everywhere.**_

---

"Are you bat-shit insane? Elena will probably kill you if you get the rebound!" Katrina pointed out

"Please, all she needs is a good fuck and she'll be back to normal in no time."

"yeah but if he gets the rebound first…"

"'Laney needs something to calm her down if we are ever going to get a shot at Tseng without being shot."

"Girls night out?" Akalara suggested

"Is this the notorious green bitch being sociable?" Ram teased

Akalara: look, can we take a break here?

Me: Sure, why?

Akalara: I need to talk to you.

Me: 'Bout what?

Akalara: The whole script-like set up, its not working out for me. I'm used to longer descriptions than this. I'm not sure if I can work with it.

Me: Well technically, we're doing script format now. Huh?

---

_**I woke up 5 minutes later with two more bullet holes. It was going to be a long fic.**_

---

"What you need is a booty call 'Laney." The ninja suggested

"A booty call?" Elena had never heard the term before, Kandi had on the other hand.

"You know, pick one of the trainees to have a one night stand with. They'll do whatever you tell them to do"

"It sounds appealing but no."

"Why not Blondie?"

"I want my rebound to be better then anything he could ever do. Not just a sub-standard fuck from a nervous rookie."

Ram: Whoa whoa whoa. Hold up here. How old are you?

Me: err… 17?

Ram: Why do you know all of this stuff? All the sex talk, aren't you a bit young for that.

Me: Hey, the legal age is 16 in the UK and with some of the people I know, I could have turned out a lot worse.

Ram: …

---

_**You know that guy in your head that does baritone and sings "MISTAAAKE!" yeah. That guy was going off since I said that, I freaked them out.**_

---

Kandi charged first to try and help her fallen friend, but she was met with a stiff punch to the stomach before an elbow to the back of the neck.

Katrina was next, being lifted into the air effortlessly and then thrown into the rest of the Amazons who now lied in a head on the floor of the apartment.

While Tifa was busy disposing of the last Amazon she decided that she was either going to suffer her wrath as well or try a sneak attack while Katrina was in the air. She got close enough to the bartender for her to turn around and launch a two footed moonsault kick, sending the self proclaimed green goddess into the wall.

Elena and Yuffie had both fought Tifa before and knew what was next, they saw the other Turks be defeated one by one, both looked at each other and tried to flee out of the bedroom but to no avail. The enraged martial artist had grabbed them both by the leg and was pulling them back towards her.

Me: And Cut! That's a keeper people. What's wrong Tifa.

Tifa: I'm not… a very violent person much.

Me: Come on, its like pro-wrestling. It can look real but its all fake. Isn't that right Ram? (Ram is on the floor in pain) Oops.

---

"No, I think here will suffice Cloud." she said sweetly pushing him on to the coffee table and making short work of his trousers throwing them to the other side of the room.

"Fuck Tifa, you're usually not this intense!"

"You don't want this?"

"I do, but…"

Reno: I WANT IT MORE!

Me: (Face palm)

---

Tseng was now fair game, and best of all, for a while she was the only one who knew giving her a head start on the rest.

'_I'll give _him_ a head-start!'_ she thought to herself chuckling down the corridor and towards the head Turk's office, this one was going to be fun.

Kandi: Woot! (does a victory dance with bagel in one hand)

Me: Okay Kandi, we get it, your excited now please… calm down.

Kandi: (still dancing)

Me: Okay, she's not gonna stop now. Need something to pass the time. Does anyone have a spare game cube controller? I only have 3 and we really need a 4th person for Smash bros.

Reno: How come Rude gets laid and I get shot in the leg?

Me: A virtue patience is.

Reno: What?

---

_**Apparently, Reno hadn't watched much Star Wars**_

---

Normally, punishment for assaulting a Turk is a quick addition to the List. However, in her case he was willing to make an exception, if only for his own safety. Tseng was by no means a coward, but rather a skilled tactician and knew when diplomacy was the best policy

Tseng: Since when am I scared of Tifa? she wouldn't hurt a fly that wasn't hurting her. And if it was, said fly would soon commit suicide. (cracks knuckles)

Tifa: Aww… that's so sweet of you! (pets Tseng)

Tseng: Do not pet me.

Cloud: No-one tells my girl what to do bastard! (prepares omnislash)

Tseng: Oh now I see…

---

"Could I go and join Turks?" she asked while trying to do a puppy dog face.

Cloud froze.

"Cloud?" she asked. There was still no response from the swordsman. "Cloud?"

Still nothing.

Tifa sighed. "G-string." Cloud quickly shook his head, snapping out of his trance.

Reno: Where?

---

The storm had dissipated, and the morning was beautiful to Elena. _Wait, morning? Where the hell did night go? Or evening, for that matter?_ She risked turning over, dreading the sight of a red mess next to her. When she didn't see it, she breathed a sigh of relief.

That is, until Reno came out of the shower.

"Shit. Rude was right. You truly are mind blowing."

Elena hated mornings.

Reno: WOOT! Finally! Its about time too!

Tseng: I would advise you that a one-night-stand with Elena would not be the best for your career prospects.

Reno: Tseng's just jealous of my awesome sex appeal

Me: Where's a shipment of Vodka when you need it? (Truck passes by on the way to AT productions) hmm…

---

All the Turks had thought that the footage was over until up upon the screen, flickered on the footage recorded by one of Joel's spy cameras all those days ago. The footage of the lesbian orgy between the Amazons, Akalara, Tifa, Elena and Yuffie.

Joel was stunned by this, Sage's jaw hit the floor, Rude started to sweat slightly while Cloud recovered from his laughing fit to just stare at the steamy action.

Black and Widow quickly covered N.C's eyes and ears to preserve what was left of her innocence. Silhouette started to drool slightly and Nina bent over to whisper in Kandi's ear "how come you didn't invite me for that?"

All the cast: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Me: Can we please continue with the scene?

Kandi: (still laughing) I'm sorry but that was fucking Classic man.

Me: Thank you. We'll just cut out the laugh sector and start back from there. (off stage whispers) What do you mean I can't do that? (sigh) time to crack open the vodka then.

Tifa: (Takes away vodka) You're too young.

Me: Dammit.

---

Damning the formalities, he barged into the restroom seeing a terrified Akalara and Elena and of course, the giant spider which was the cause of this outcry.

"Get it away! Get it away!" Akalara shouted, huddling up in the corner shivering.

"Tseng! Thank Leviathan. Kill it!" Elena shouted.

Akalara: Since when am I afraid of Spiders

Niki: This is not just an ordinary spider (thunderclap), from the large life stream concentration in the plastic labyrinth it was become… Spiderroth! He's even got his own theme music (gets out cassette player) see. (one winged angel plays).

Sephiroth: Someone call out my name in an orchestra chorus?

Akalara: (Drags Sephiroth to AT productions)

Me: Well they are the only people with stage 69.

---

_**And there you have it people! All the months of work condensed into one extra long outtake reel. Looking back on it all now, the fights, the strikes, the lack of booze. I have to say, it has been a lot of fun, and what the hell was I on when I thought of this stuff?**_


End file.
